WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize