she woke up with a sticky ear
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
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All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
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