The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize