wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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