i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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