im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize