I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize