Just mADE A PArabola og urine
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize