just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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