I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize