A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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