Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
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Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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