Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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