I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
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