Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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