Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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