The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
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I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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