Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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