You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
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I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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