Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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