Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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