Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize