Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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