he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
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You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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