worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
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