I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
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It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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