i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize