i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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