Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize