I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i think i just lost a toe
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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