i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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