he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize