If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize