Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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