Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
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