tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize