Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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