Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize