my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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