ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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