Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize