wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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