I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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