Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize