I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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