when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
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There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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