even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize