when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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