U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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