just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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